Proud
by cecilia.clare
Summary: He loved it, but he didn’t tell anyone.


Proud"

Singing - the activity of performing songs or tunes by making musical sounds with the voice. He loved it, he loved to sing. The way the notes moved across the page, the way his voice moved up and down. The way he held out the notes, or they moved quickly. He loved all kinds of music, he loved every song he had ever heard. He had a record player, and he listened to music all the time. Music is what kept him going in this crazy world, especially with Race and Albert as best friends. He was also trusted to look after Gibbs which was hard enough. Music was his rock, his solid ground in the overwhelming life of a newsie.

Jojo woke up in his makeshift bed, and realized it was kinda hard to breath. He recognized the red hair of the boy laying on top of him.

"Albert! I like ta breath!" He shoved Albert off of him onto Race,

"I swear I'm asking for a new bed." he mumbled under his breath. Race and Albert continued to sleep, with Albert laying on top of him. He got up and walked over to Gibbs hammock where the little five year old was peacefully asleep. Jojo looked out the broken window where the sun wasn't in the sky yet. Jojo crept down the old rickety stairs of the abandoned office main frame. He walked into the lobby and opened the old broom closet, he pulled out his record player and his favorite song "Time." He carefully placed it onto the record player and pressed play. He just listened to the music fill the room, sunlight slowly drifting in through the window. After the final words of the song rang in his ears, he carefully placed the disk back into a crate. He put the record player back in the closet and closed the door. He could hear footsteps coming down the stairs, he looked over to see Gibbs coming down the stairs rubbing his eyes.

"Jojo, where is that music coming from?"

"Ya must be hearing things Gibbs."

"If I wasn't it sure was a nice song."

"Come here Gibbs." He walked over tiredly rubbing his eyes.

"I don't like waking up." Jojo laughed,

"I know buddy, I know." Jojo pulled him into a hug,

"Alright Gibbs lets go get Race and Albert." Jojo led Gibbs back up the stairs where some of the newsies were starting to stir. Jojo walked back over to his bed where Race and Albert were still sleeping peacefully curled up in a little ball. Jojo leaned down and plucked the cigar out of Race's mouth.

"Albert! I swear give that back!" Race yelled, waking Albert up,

"You'll steal another." he murmured. Jojo handed Race back his cigar.

"I hate it when you do that."

"I threw Albert on top of you and you still didn't wake up." Race rolled his eyes and popped his cigar back in his mouth.

"Come on Gibbs let's go find your hat." Jojo walked back over to Gibbs hammock and looked around for his hat. He found it and handed it to Gibbs. Soon he was walking to the square, this was routine everyday. Albert, Race, music, Gibbs, cigars, and hats. Playing on repeat in his head, he wandered into the square too see Mute and Blaze. Mute was signing something to her, that Jojo didn't understand.

"You are being so catty today." he signed something,

"No, no, no, and more no. He does not." he signed something else,

"Don't you dare. It is my friendship." he signed again,

"I get that he's your friend, but that's different." he signed once more,

"Stop it, or I'm not translating for you today." he signed again

"That's right! I'm serious Mute!" he grinned at her,

"I'm so happy you can't talk." she grumbled. Mute pouted and signed something else,

"I don't like you." He tilted his head to the side and signed something else,

"Fine, I do like you." he grinned again. Jojo laughed, Blaze and Mute looked at him wondering what was so funny.

"You guys are hilarious." Blaze and Mute looked at each other than back at Jojo.

"We didn't say anything funny."

"From my point of view, I only get half the conversation and Mute makes some interesting faces."

"Oh." Blaze stared at the ground, blushing. Mute signed something to her, which caused her to shove him.

"Stop it!" Mute grinned even bigger, a few newsies walked into the square including Specs. Jojo looked back to where Blaze had been standing, now she was gone.

"Have you guys seen Blaze?" asked Specs. Mute signed something toward the roof,

"No Mute! You are not being translated today." She disappeared,

"Dang it." muttered Specs,

"I had somethin' ta ask her." This only made Mute grin even bigger, Jojo gave Mute a confused look. More newsies started to come into the square, until he saw Race, and Albert.

"Where's Gibbs?"

"Jack came to talk ta him this morning after you left."

"Oh, ok." The three of them talked for a while until Jojo saw Jack walking in with Gibbs. He walked over to Jack,

"Hey Gibbs, ya ready?" He nodded and grabbed Jojo's hand,

"Wave bye to Jack."

"Bye Jack!" Gibbs waved his small hand at Jack,

"Bye Gibbs." Jojo led Gibbs in line to go get papers and soon the four of them were going to sell their papers. After awhile they all walked back to the square, and then Blu forced them to go to bed. Jojo laid in bed for a while and waited until everyone was asleep. He quietly climbed out the window and up a ladder on the side of the building. He crawled onto the roof and laid down looking at the blanket of stars that covered the sky. He started to sing

You can be anything you wanna be

You can go anywhere you wanna see

A little hard work and you can do it

Faith will get you through it

So many possibilities

You gotta believe it, see it, and you can be it

The answers are all inside yourself

The universe has plenty of space

And the gift that it gave to the whole human race is that

We're all made of stars

We're all made of dreams

No matter who you are

You can do what you want,

Go where you like,

Be who you wanna be

If a doctor could save only just one life from pain and from misery, that's what I wanna be

I would sail all around the world

A life of discovery, that is the life for me

If i could write every single day i would write all my cares away

I'd be leading a different life

A wonderful life

A magical life

You can do what you want

Go where you like

Be who you wanna be

Be what you wanna be

Be what you wanna be. As he finished the last note he breathed out in quiet. Just staring at the stars, then he heard something clunk. He looked over to the side of the building to see nothing he assumed it was just the wind. He climbed back down and snuck over to his bed. He fell asleep the song still playing in his head.

* * *

Jack was sitting in the penthouse drawing, listening to the quiet sound of Crutchie's breathing. He continued to move the pencil along the paper in gentle strokes. He was blanketed by the quiet, until he heard something. Someone actually, he stuck his drawing in his pocket and climbed up the fire escape. He saw a boy laying on the roof, and he was singing. It was really beautiful, he peeked his head a little further up. He just listened to the beautiful singing, he finished the song and sat up. Jack caught a glimpse of the boy's face, it was Jojo. He began to leave, but knocked a rung off the rusty ladder which clanked to the ground. He hurriedly climbed back down to the penthouse. Jojo can sing, since when can he sing.

* * *

Jojo woke up in the morning to the sound of Albert's snoring. He quietly crept downstairs and pulled his record player out of the closet. He carefully sat a disk on it and pressed play. He listened to the sweet music fill the room, until the song ended he soaked up every note. Soon the sun was shining on his face, with a quiet warm glow. He wanted to just sit here, in the peace. Not to go back to the crazy world, just be, just stay. He finally got up and put everything away and wandering back up stairs where newsies were waking up. He pulled Race's cigar out of his mouth which was met with greetings of yelling and cursing of Albert by Race. Which was met with tired mumbling from Albert. Jojo rolled his eyes and handed Race his cigar, before waking up Gibbs. Jojo wandered over to Blu's room and knocked on the door.

"Come in." Jojo opened the door with Gibbs in toe. Blu was finishing braiding her hair.

"I need a favor." Blu turned around to face him in the doorway,

"Gibbers!"

"Blu!" Gibbs ran over and Blu lifted him into her lap,

"Let me guess you need me to look after Gibbs?"

"Yeah, I gotta get to the square early this morning."

"No problem, I'll bring him with me when I come."

"You're a lifesaver Blu!" Jojo dashed out the door towards the square, to find Mute and Blaze. They were always there extra early, he loved to watch their silly conversations unfold. Mute signed something,

"Ok, you really need to stop." he signed again,

"No, what do you mean no." he signed again,

"That's not true." another signal,

"This isn't funny anymore Mute." he signed again,

"That's enough out of you!' she smacked him in the back of the head, he smacked back.

"Hey! You can't hit a girl." he signed something with a goofy grin on his face,

"Hey! What's that supposed to mean!" by then Mute was dashing out the square.

"Mute!!!" she screamed chasing after him. Jojo laughed at how silly Mute had become, he was much different then the sad boy that used to wander around the square.

"Jojo!" he turned around to see Race and Albert walking into the square.

"Hey guys." The day dragged on as usual, until the very last moment where the three of them were peacefully asleep in their beds. All except for Jojo, who was waiting for everyone to fall asleep. He waited not moving until he couldn't hear anything in the lodging house except the peaceful breathing of the newsies. He got out of bed and crept back up on the rooftop, and sat down looking at the stars, he began to sing again.

Midnight not a sound from the pavement

Has the moon lost her memory?

She is smiling alone

In the lamplight, the withered leaves collect at my feet

And the wind begins to moan

Memory, all alone in the moonlight

I can dream of the old days

I was beautiful then

I remember the time I knew what happiness was

Let the memory live again

Every street lamp seems to beat

A fatalistic warning

Someone mutters and the streetlamp gutters

And soon

It will be morning

Daylight

I must wait for the sunrise

I must think of a new life

And I mustn't give in.

When the dawn comes

Tonight will be a memory too

And a new day will begin

Burnt out ends of smoky days

The stale cold smell of morning

A streetlamp dies; another night is over

Another day is dawning

Touch me!

It's so easy to leave me

All alone with the memory

Of my days in the sun

If you touch me, you''ll understand what happiness is

Look, a new day has begun. He finished the song and let the resounding sound of the melody bounce around in his head. He heard something and whipped his head around to see something disappearing over the side the building. He ran over to the other side to look down at the penthouse to see Jack was gone. Jack had seen him singing.

* * *

He could hear him again, Jack hurriedly climbed up the side of the building and poked his head over the ledge. There he was, Jojo was singing again. He was staring at the stars, and he was singing. Jack just sat there and watched Jojo sing. He thought the song was about a memory. The notes floated through the air to his ears, listening to the sweet melody. As Jojo finished the song his foot slipped and knocked a piece of the old building to the ground. Jack tried to duck his head, but was met by Jojo's fearful brown eyes. He quickly tried to dash back to the penthouse, to hear Jojo scrambling down the building and back to his bed.

* * *

Jojo didn't sleep much that night, he laid awake and stared at the ceiling. The moment when he saw Jack trying to walk away, from listening to him. Jojo didn't want anyone to know he could sing, he wanted to keep it to himself. What would Jack say, would he be angry, amazed, or if he would go tell everyone. No other newsie sang, they liked to watch people sing, but no one else sang but him. He didn't even know if he was any good! Jojo lie awake thinking until the sun crept up into the sky, his eyes still wide. He just lay there listening to the sound of the newsies getting up. He held really still, he could feel his stomach churning in a soup of nerves. Race walked over,

"Come on Jojo, we gotta go. The bell is gonna ring soon." Jojo sat up and all the nerves came out. In the form of vomit all over himself. Everything started to spin,

"Stay here! Jack!" he could hear Race yelling, then someone sitting next to him.

* * *

Jack heard yelling, someone yelling his name. He dashed through the window from the penthouse. He ran inside and whipped his head around, Race was yelling his name. He could see Jojo sitting up, looking confusedly around except he had vomit all over himself.

"Quick Race, go get Davey!" Race nodded his head before sprinting out of the building. Jack just sat next to Jojo, trying to keep him from blacking out. Jojo looked really confused, and scared. His small brown eyes were open and alert, but the rest of his body was almost in a trance like he couldn't tell what was going on. He almost seemed frozen in time. Soon Race was back with Davey and Les. Davey ran over to Jojo's side,

"Alright, we can take him to my place." Jack nodded and picked Jojo up, who just went limp in his arms. Jack and Davey headed toward his apartment. Soon they were at the door, Davey quickly opened the door, to be greeted by his mother who immediately took over.

"Put him here." she motioned to the couch, where Jack gently laid Jojo down. Mrs. Jacob's was running around the house yelling orders at Davey for things he needed to get. Before Jack knew it they were being shooed out of the house, and the door closed. He just kinda stared at the door, willing it to open back up.

"Jack, Jojo is going to be fine. I promise." Jack nodded before following Davey out of the building back to the square.

* * *

He didn't remember much after that. He woke up in a warm bed with a blanket on top of him. He looked around to see an unfamiliar surroundings. He started to groan, and sit up until her felt someone put a hand on his shoulder helping to ease him back onto the bed. He didn't feel scared, whoever this person was they seemed kind. Jojo looked next to him to see a woman standing next to him. He couldn't exactly tell what she was doing but she seemed nice.

"Where am I?"

"Your in the Jacobs apartment."

"Who are you?"

"I'm Mrs. Jacobs's."

"Are you Davey's and Les's mom?"

"Yes, now get some rest." Jojo laid back down and went back to sleep. Soon he could hear something, it sounded like Davey and Les. Then their mother shushing them, he opened his eyes to see Davey and Les talking with their mother. He sat up and looked around,

"Oh good you're awake." Jojo looked up to see Davey, Les, and Mrs. Jacobs.

"How long was I asleep?"

"A few hours, but dinner will be ready soon."

"Dinner?"

"Yes dinner." Jojo was kinda confused, Davey and Les got to eat dinner every night. That was not a luxury that most Newsies got to experience.

"Hey Jojo, are you feeling any better? Jack was worried about ya." Jojo froze before he quickly answered,

"I'm fine, really I'm fine."

"Ok then." Davey walked off into the kitchen to help his mom make dinner. Les sat down on the edge of the bed. Jojo just laid there listening to him talk about everything that had happened that day. Soon it was supper time, Davey helped him over to the table, where Les, Mr. Jacobs, and Mrs. Jacobs. He sat down and they all said their prayers together. Jojo just sat there kinda confused, yes he prayed before he ate but all Newsies ate together and Jack would lead the prayer. It involved a lot of clapping, yelling, cheering, and praising, instead of this quiet calm prayer they were saying right now. Jojo during dinner just observed, and ate. The big happy family eating dinner together, it was a lot different than he was used to. After supper he went back to his bed and laid down. He just listened to the quiet him of the Jacobs voices. Soon he was asleep, in the morning he woke up to a door creaking open,

"You have a visitor." Mrs. Jacobs led a boy through the door, it was Jack. Jojo almost threw up again. He could feel his stomach start to churn as Mrs. Jacob's left the room.

* * *

He walked back to the apartment building, he climbed up the stairs to the wooden door that had closed earlier. He wrung his sweaty hands before he knocked on the door. He stepped back, hoping and praying that Jojo would be the one to answer the door. He waited for what seemed like an eternity before the door started to creek open, where he saw the warm smile of Mrs. Jacobs. He tried not to show his disappointment that it wasn't Jojo who was at the door.

"Hello Jack."

"Hello Mrs. Jacobs, I was wondering if I could come see Jojo."

"Of course, come with me." Jack followed after Mrs. Jacobs who led him into a room where Jojo was slowly sitting up, and smiling as he saw Mrs. Jacobs. Jack breathed out in relief that Jojo was ok, until he walked into the room and Jojo went white as a ghost.

* * *

Jack was here, what would he say. Would he want to talk about what happened on the roof. Would he ask a lot of questions. Jojo didn't move, almost like if he held really still time would too, keeping all the questions away. Of course it didn't,

"Hi."

"Hello."

"How do you feel?"

"Fine."

"I think you should stay here tomorrow, just to make sure you are really ok. Don't want you to get sick." Jojo nodded his head, and Jack looked at the floor before he walked out, Jojo breathed out and relaxed. No questions, he listened as he heard the front door closing as Jack left.

* * *

Jack walked out of the room, and was met by Mrs. Jacobs. He pulled a note out of his pocket and handed it to her.

"Can you give this to Jojo?"

"Of course." Jack headed for the door,

"Jack, don't worry he's going to be fine." Jack nodded and walked out of the door and walked back to the square.

* * *

After Jack left, Mrs. Jacobs came into the room. She handed a piece of paper and then left the room. He unfolded it and read the contents,

Jojo, I know that you are scared and that you know I saw you singing. I haven't told anyone, I just wanted you to know that I think you are really good I was only listening because you have such a beautiful voice. I know that you got sick because you were worried, you were like this when you were younger. I won't tell anyone if you don't want me too. Hope you feel better.

\- Jack

Jojo looked up from the note, he realized he didn't have a reason to be worried Jack wasn't going to tell

anyone. He still felt a little worried, what if Jack was lying to him. Jojo folded up the note and stuffed it in his pocket, and Mrs. Jacobs came in and sat down on the edge of his bed.

"Alright spill."

"What?" she set a pair of clothes of the bed,

"You were fine until Jack walked in. I may not be your mother, but I have been a mother long enough to know when something is up." Jojo looked down at his hands,

"Jack heard me singing."

"What's wrong with that?"

"I don't want anyone to know."

"Why not?"

"I live with a lot of other boys. They would think me singing isn't cool."

"Why do you care?"

"Because they are my brothers."

"If they are truly your brothers they will support what you love." she grabbed the clothes and handed them to him.

"Here are some new clothes, these used to be Davey's. Now get some sleep." She turned off the lights leaving him in the flicker of the New York street lamps out the window. Jojo thought about it, if they were really his brothers than they would support him in his singing. He fell asleep with those words playing in his head.

* * *

Jack walked back to the square where he was met by an anxious Race and Albert,

"Is he ok?"

"Does he want to see us?"

"Can we go see him?"

"When will he be back?"

"Yes he's ok, I'm sure he wants to see you, I don't know if now is the best time to see him, he will be back day after tomorrow."

"Ok." The two boys ran off, Jack walked back to the lodging house. He wandered in, and walked over to Blu's room.

"Blu, it's Jack. Can I come in?"

"Come on in Jack." he walked in to find Blu and Gibbs playing a game of some sorts.

"Funny, I was gonna ask if you needed me to put Gibbs to bed?"

"Actually that would be great. Alright Gibbers, time for bed." Gibbs pouted for a minute before taking Jack's hand and following him to his bed. Jack put Gibbs to sleep and then checked on all the other newsies to make sure they were asleep. He then crawled out the window to the penthouse, he found Crutchie there.

"Hey Jack."

"Hi." he mumbled, he sat down and pulled a drawing out of his pocket and started to work on it.

"Alright what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong."

"Sure it isn't, come on Jack."

"It's Jojo."

"What about him?"

"He got sick today, not a normal kind of sick, the kind he gets when he gets anxious. Really anxious."

"Why would he be anxious?"

"I can't tell you."

"Why not?"

"I promised."

"Oh. I'm sure Jojo will be fine." Jack nodded his head, not exactly sure if Crutchie was right.

* * *

Jojo woke up in morning still feeling anxious, and worried. He changed into his new clothes and handed over his dirty ones to Mrs. Jacobs. He did a lot of thinking that day, he couldn't do much else because Mrs. Jacobs wouldn't let him out of her sight. Jojo read the note a lot of times, soon it was the end of the day and Mrs. Jacobs made him go to bed early. The next day Jojo was released back into the wild of the New York city streets. Jojo was on his way back to the square when he passed Ms. Medda's theater. He stopped in front of it, and there was a sign in front about a show that night. He ran inside,

"Ms. Medda!"

"Yes!"

"It's Jojo! I have a question."

"Hopefully I have an answer," she said walking out from behind the curtain.

"I was wondering if I could sing in your show tonight."

"Of course you can. I'll make some space."

"Do you have room for all the newsies to sit in here?"

"Yep, I'll have enough room. Come here after work and we can prep you." Jojo nodded and ran out the door,

"Thank you Ms. Medda!"

"Anytime Jojo!" He ran to the square still really excited to find Jack. He scanned the crowd of newsies for Jack and then spotted him near the paper wagon. He apologetically pushed his way through the crowd to Jack.

"Can I talk to you?"

"The bell is gonna ring…"

"It's urgent."

"Ok," Jojo dragged Jack into the alleyway next to the square.

"I told Ms. Medda I wanted to sing tonight in her show."

"You did?"

"Yes. and she said I could. What I need from you is to get all the newsies into her theater tonight. Tell them Medda really wanted them to be there."

"O… Ok."

"Thanks Jack." Jojo ran out into the square. Soon the day was over and Jojo ran into the theater.

* * *

Jack gathered up all the newsies and dragged them all to the theater, at 6:00 which was when the show was about to start. After a few bumps and bruises all the newsies had found a seat, and the curtain opened. Ms. Medda stepped out and said,

"Tonight we have a very special treat. A new act, is joining the show tonight. For his first ever live performance on stage, please welcome... Jojo. The curtains opened to reveal Jojo, who looked like he was about to pass out. Half the newsies gasped in surprise at the sight of him standing there. The music started to play, and Jojo started to sing.

I had a farmhouse with a grandfather clock

Where I would teach time to my son

Our lessons began at twelve o'clock sharp

When the hands would come in as one

I'd say the big hand counts minutes

It's so tightly wound

It chases the small hand

To make hours go round

I taught Thomas constellations in the sky

To tell a silver maple from a cottonwood

I taught Thomas to divide and multiply

But one he never understood was time as I watched him grow time he would never know time but my regret was I time, if I only knew the what and how and who that time truly divides.

I had a farmhouse with a grandfather clock where one day I woke up alone.

They feared I was magic, they feared I was cursed, but mostly they feared the unknown.

The big hand the father, the small hand the son!

And then never came a time when they came back as one.

I taught Thomas how to catch a firefly, how to make a pebble skip and rowboat skim.

She took Thomas and never said goodbye.

The one thing I could never give to him, was time.

Time

I'm left with nothing

Nothing but time. He finished the final note and opened his eyes, the theater was quiet until it erupted in cheers. Everyone was whooping and hollering and screaming. You could hear Race yelling from the back of the room,

"Atta boy Jojo!!" Everyone was cheering and the smile on Jojo's face couldn't have been bigger.

* * *

Jojo watched the curtain open to a huge crowd of people. He froze in fear, until the music started to play. He imagined himself back on the roof, on his own. He closed his eyes and began to sing. He could hear the music floating around the room, his voice dancing along with the music. He could feel his heart swelling with each note, and his soul ascending. He finished the song and slowly opened his eyes. Everything was quiet for a few seconds until the theater erupted in cheers, the sound was deafening and Jojo could not wipe a huge smile off his face. He could see Race standing on a table yelling how proud he was. Jojo realized that night in the volcano of cheers that he shouldn't have been afraid of his talent or what other people would say or think. He should have known his brothers would have supported him even if he was bad. That's the beautiful thing about having brothers is they will support you no matter what, that is what makes a true brother. That is what makes the Newsies a true family, not by blood but by actions.


End file.
